Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Moving On

This post is about moving on in two ways: first, it's the last one summarizing the stages of fangirling. And secondly, after this, I'm hoping to move on to a more fluid discussion of things instead of feeling  I'm jumping from one thing to another like a caffeine-crazed leapfrog (great mental image, that) (also, this is probably not going to happen; but I can dream).

Anyway, no more stalling; here we are at:

6. acceptance “i have accepted that i will never know you but i will continuously love you and i am okay with that”
I have no evidence for this stage of fangirling on hand at the moment, nor do I have any striking examples of it. It's a stage I find I've only reached by growing out of fandom, either by finding a new character/celebrity to strike my interest or realizing the fandom is no longer one of my biggest interests (or it's been absolutely shattered into a thousand, tiny pieces in my mind as in the case of Twilight; but that's a long story, boys and girls, and I haven't the time right now). It's not something I've found is easily reached and a state best arrived at by time. I'd love to show outside examples other than myself, but I just don't have them at the moment. There's really not much expression of it on Tumblr; because Tumblr is mostly about expressing one's passionate love about for a fandom (note that certain opinions are perhaps more likely to be spread over Tumblr than others). And if more toned-done fangirls reside happily out there, they either aren't Tumblr users or they're posts are harder to come across (and I seemingly fail to find them). The best I can really give you is this response to a quiz taken regarding the fandom of Sherlock:

Kind of hard to read, I apologize. But the main point is this: "you have managed to retain a mature attitude towards the show." It's interesting how so much of the rhetoric focusing around fangirls is the perception of them as naive, screaming teenagers and that it's assumed that fangirling is something one leaves behind when one "grows up." I want to question this; I mean, I'm 21 and I'll be the first to admit that I'm only becoming a more intense fangirl as I grow older. Some of the most obsessed followers I see on Tumblr are around the age of 26. Perhaps it's time to set aside this notion of fangirls being very young and see them for who they actually are.
Finally, I'd like to mention how this stage of acceptance requires something else as well: self-acceptance. In some ways, I feel a lot of extreme fangirling comes from a lack of self-esteem and feelings that one is inadequate. Through being obsessed with something like a TV show or an actor, perhaps one feels they can overlook their "defects" and note the good qualities their passion brings out. And when they realize their fantasy of their fandom or their celebrity cannot be had and they must accept the reality around them, they also have to accept the reality of themselves.

If I had more documented evidence, I would use it. But I don't. I'm just a university student, blogging subjectively from what I've seen. But I'm hoping what I'm saying doesn't sound completely mad. Of course, not all fangirls have self-esteem problems. Yet there is something more here, something I
hope doesn't amount to just cobwebs and dust. We shall see what we shall see.

And of course, as promised:

You poor, poor man, Martin Freeman; it's like someone set you up for this. For God's sake, what are his children going to think if they see this? (Actually, nullify that; as a child, I would have thought it was awesome. But then again I was a most unusual child. I used to want to be a mouse. And with that tangent, Musto out!)

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