Monday, June 4, 2012

I don't wanna work (I just wanna bang on the drums all day)

Sometimes I wonder why I'm a fangirl. And then I look at pictures like this and I think, "Oh, yeah, that's why."

This is what my father has come to call "The Morgue." It is actually the basement of my apartment building. If you're thinking it looks like something from The Shining, well, you're not too far off - the building used to be a hotel in the 1940s. And some of the plumbing dates back at least that far as well.

I'm the assistant building manager in the building and, unlike most people, I don't have specific hours for my job. I clean when I can, take phone calls when they come through, deal with emergencies as they arise (even if it's at 10:30 pm on a school night and it involves cleaning up a flooded apartment until 2 in the morning). Most of the time, I like my job. But when it starts to interfere with my personal life, I get kind of irked. Like this morning, I was planning on having a nice, relaxing breakfast and hanging out with my parents (as my mother just got out of the hospital on Saturday). But no. Someone's toilet had to start leaking and flood their closet the night before. So I had to head back downtown earlier than expected and be on-site to attend to whatever new fiasco could possible ensue. Yes, I am just doing my job. But unfortunately for me, my job never ends. My apartment is my work and I live within it, 24/7. A girl's gotta get some escape. And thus, the fangirling.

The problem I've reached is the "anything can happen" premise. When you're cleaning someone's apartment that they didn't clean before leaving, it's rather nice to latch onto this idea and fantastically distract your mind with anything rather than what you are currently doing. Somehow, ala Cinderella, could I find myself at a Hollywood movie premiere instead of scraping dried, unidentified liquids off the bottom of a tenant's refrigerator? Maybe. But it's unfortunately more as likely that a toilet will need fixing and family health problems will come out of nowhere and scare the shit out of me.

You can guess which has actually happened.

I don't really like reality. I don't like that people draw lines between what is reality and what isn't. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. It just doesn't mean EVERYTHING will happen. As my friend Sarah said sagely the other night (Sarah said sagely - say that five times fast), "There will be goods that won't happen." Lots of good things will happen - but they won't ALL happen. Fortunately, there will be lots of bad things that don't happen either. But when bad things do happen, I know they seem rather clumped together in bunches.

And thus, the fangirling. Because sometimes you're brain just needs a break. That may mean just vegging out in front of the television, or writing fan fiction (which I'm attempting to do - Oh, God, is it fun), watching every episode of Buffy ever, or dreaming up some impossible scenario in your mind. Some people find this need to escape everyday life sad and maybe it is in some ways. But I have a rather overabundant imagination and using it whenever I can comes as a relief. I could worry about the fact that the toilet broke in apartment #5 and ruined the new carpet down there, or I can just let the worry go and watch a couple episodes of Fortysomething. I don't know where this idea came from that people who use their imagination a lot don't know the difference between reality and fantasy. We do know the difference. So let us continue on - we know that it all may just be dreams. But anything can happen and reality is what you make of it. So let the fangirls... well, fangirl. It's already a struggle enough to deal with the difficulties life throws at us; why make it more difficult by criticizing what gives people happiness?

Maybe I'm just really happy about fangirling because it's been of great use to me here lately. Maybe because a blogger I follow on Tumblr (who I've mentioned here and here) has returned to Tumblr after wanting to end his/her life and seems to have found some solace in the fan community of The Avengers. Maybe because, when I stop worrying and beating myself up about it, being a fangirl is really fun.
Also, this is one of the cutest things I've ever seen. There's no way I'm having a bad day now :D

And that bring us to an end of the random personal posts - next we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming (whatever that is).

No comments:

Post a Comment