1) I have some pretty ambivalent feelings about awards, award shows, and shiny golden statues.
2) I'm going to steal...
But back to #1. Continuing the thoughts that began on this post and because I'm a loser, I have some weird complicated feelings towards award shows, especially the Oscars. I enjoy watching the Academy Awards, for pretty much the same reason I keep buying People magazine - I keep hoping that maybe something unexpectedly wonderful will occur and not only will awesomeness ensue onscreen, I will also feel like less of a freak. Not to say that the Academy Awards are not generally awesome. I mean, for the most part, they are pretty alright. For example, last year was pretty good, except for the part where I spent the entire show looking for two actors in particular (c'mon, you know which ones, don't make me say) and cameras basically avoided them like the plague (unless you were watching Red Carpet stuff on a magical British-loving channel or something. I often wonder where all this gifs on Tumblr come from...). But Christopher Plummer won an Oscar and suddenly everything was bright and beautiful and I remember being pretty okay with things. At least until I watched the Emmys this year and cried tears of rage into a pillow when Kevin Costner won Best Actor in a Mini-Series. (Long story. I don't actually dislike Kevin Costner. I've just never forgiven him for his lack of a British accent in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves).
It doesn't matter how much I know that the Oscars are imperfect, that they make it more difficult for international films or indie films or just films in general to do well when this is one of the main markers for success we have other than box office earnings, how much they overlook certain films and certain actors/actresses/directors, etc., because I still watch them and I still want to go to the bloody ceremony. I'm not an actress. I'm not a screenwriter. I don't direct. I will never go to this thing. And yet I still really, really want to.
I used to not understand why I wanted to go so desperately. It seemed like it should be the epitome of everything I don't like - not eating and wearing uncomfortable clothes while sitting down and appearing on a red carpet like it's the grand march of prom (not that I went to that - people at my school didn't go to the grand march unless you had a date, it seemed. And I was rocking it with my group of gals from high school so I did not have a date. By the way, high school prom? Kind of overrated). However, the Oscars also epitomizes what I still really want to be - cool. With the fly designer dresses and suits, suave appearances and acceptance speeches, a ceremony of glamor and glitz, it's pretty much assured by everything our society supports that this is the coolest place to be. So, while I am incredibly uncool, enjoy being uncool, and support other modes of uncoolness, I also still like the cool and can't help wanting to be cool. It's a quandary.
Which brings me to #2: Leo DiCaprio, I am so, so sorry. I really am. For those of you who aren't following my weird strain of thought, Leonardo DiCaprio has once again been overlooked in Academy Award nominations. I am not the only one who thinks this. I am not the only who has noticed this over the course of the years. And I am not the only one who has a problem with it. And yet it keeps happening. The question, of course, is why?
For several films now, Leo has been grossly overlooked. It probably started before this film but I really noticed it when I saw The Aviator. DiCaprio was brilliant as Howard Hughes and I'm terribly disappointed that DiCaprio did not win the Oscar for this role (though he was nominated). Inception, J. Edgar, Django Unchained... this guy does not make films that don't win other awards. He just hasn't won an Oscar... or even been nominated for some roles, as has been the case for the last two years. The only thing I can figure is this: either he did something really unforgivable and the Academy knows about it but it's all hush-hush otherwise and he will never win or they don't like him. They don't like the fact that his career has changed and expanded and he did what Kristen Stewart could do if media sexism and Twilight get their claws out of her. They don't like that he was always more than a romantic pretty boy and they were blind to an unexpected tour de force. That's all I can figure at least.
So.... if you've got any helpful pointers for how to A) crash the Oscars, B) steal an Academy Award and give it to Leo without being a rude asshat about it and C) not get arrested or expelled from my university in the process and/or D) want in on such exploits, I'd love to hear it all. Maybe I should hone up on my ninja skills.