Tuesday, May 21, 2013

It's the Real

My utmost apologies for my week's absence here. I was in the process of graduating, a ritual involving copious amounts pomp and circumstance and a plethora of confusion. One dons a black, rather goofy looking gown, a motorboard cap, and a tassel in the tradition of 14th century scholars who had no idea that I would one day bemoan how hot and sweaty such attire is in the humidity of Minnesota. The graduation ceremony itself is rather standard - there are speakers, there is applause, there is a great deal of uncertainty about whether or not one needs to carry a purse with them (which all ended up being mostly a moot point because I arrived at graduation with my parents and didn't have to worry about dragging my apartment keys with me. Because graduation gowns do not have pockets. Alas). And eventually you cross the stage, are metaphorically sprinkled with pixie dust which magically makes you an adult, and presented with NOT a diploma (at least in my ceremony - the actual diploma is mailed in July after my university is certain that I actually passed my last semester of classes and deserve such a hallowed item). Regardless, the place-holding certificate I was given and the shiny little holder it came in made me feel oddly liberated. Basically like this:

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However, while I flounce around like the liberated house elf that I am, I also have to reckon with the fact that I really AM done with school and can do (more or less) whatever I please. Society has fully granted me the status of independent twenty-something. And for some reason, this just makes me want to go out and buy Capri Sun drinks and Lunchables, essentially the diet of hyperactive American elementary school student.

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I'm part of the "real world" now, people say, as if college was some how not a reality and that stress is not at all similar to the sort of stress I'll find in the workplace *spoilers: it is*. I do have to say that my first day as a graduate at work was a bit intense and that arriving home from my internship to find that my apartment building overlords had scheduled tours in times that had been free for me but later weren't and gave me last minute notice that I was actually expected to do these tours AND notify tenants about me coming into their rooms was a bit, well... much. C'mon, give me a chance to feel happy about being a graduate! Don't make me all bitter and rage-filled and jaded already!

No fears: the fact that I haven't turned into a giant green rage-machine yet means I'm probably not going to turn bitter and jaded on my first day back from my graduation hiatus (which was less of a hiatus and more of a mini-family reunion fiesta). Point is: graduation doesn't happen in that ceremony with the magic pixie dust and the fake diploma. I liked the ceremony; don't get me wrong. But that's only part of it. Graduation is a state of mind - a place of accepting that college and the work world have far more in common than people give it credit for, but is vastly different in ways that needs transitioning. So far, I haven't had a major existential crisis. I have realized that I deeply need to reevaluate what I thought I wanted to do as far as day jobs go (writing, of course, being my main focus and the job that slowly consumes my soul). I know that I don't really have a plan for... anything (except that I WILL FIND A WAY TO SEE CORIOLANUS IN LONDON. I WILL FIND A WAY). And yet I'm not scared terribly stiff. I'm mostly just excited.

Finally I NEED to stop doing these soul-searchy blog posts. So this is the last one (I hope - no promises. Every time I say I'm done for sure, I end up prolonging the topic). Back to fandom stuff soon, I should think. And considering it's still technically Tuesday as I write this, I owe you all a Wednesday post. Let's see if I can actually accomplish that with what's destined to be a fiasco of a morning at my apartment building...

2 comments:

  1. Congratulations! Everyone seems to have their graduation ceremony around now, I'm really jealous. I finished all exams etc on the 17th, find out final grade band in June, module results in July, and then graduation ceremony isn't until August 28th! By which point I won't have been to a lecture in nearly 6 months and university will be a long-forgotten dream (until I hopefully start my MA the following month :P).
    I'm very glad you haven't had an existential crisis yet, they're not fun! :P

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    1. Thank you so much! :D Wow, August seems rather late for a graduation ceremony but not having to worry about exams and graduation at the same time might be nice. Congratulations to you as well!

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